I don’t want to take drugs to deal with the stress
I don’t want to feed into your system,
of graduate schemes and money,
material happiness and relaxing vacations.
i don’t want to take drugs to deal with the fact
that you have made my life have no purpose
that it is so specific that it has no relevance
that it is suffocatingly insignificant – only significant
when I am at a conference or working on a team,
my world so small, my expertise so limited – as
we dissect human knowledge and human experience.
i don’t want to take drugs in order to have fun
mollie, lsd, 25i, G, drone, weed, cocaine, heroin
and many more, on and on and on
fuel to feed the emptiness of life these days
as we sit staring at screens all day
dreaming of a hookup that night
boy, girl, hand – just as long as they do what i demand.
as our world becomes ego-centric,
and we take drugs to replace the feeling of
actually loving someone. of loving something.
i am starting to feel numb, and every path i try to happiness
leads to depression. and disappointment.
what am i looking for? what am I missing?
I don’t want to take drugs to replace asking questions- and needing an answer.
Copyright Samantha Emily Evans