He Could Be #4

By Sammy Ginsberg

but now he is,
he is my boyfriend
and I am his girlfriend.

It has been two months,
yesterday exactly! since we met,
and started dating.

Oh how smooth and fast it has moved,
slipped
I didn’t realize there was space for him,
until he was there,
and now, now he’s like ivy on me,
and i am ivy in – wrapping and kissing up into the cracks,
beautiful together.

I know I feel it, I know I do.
I feel it in my chest, I feel it in my vagina!
Alas, the past, the past –

my brain is like a machine
it remembers everything
knows what has been
connects x + y = z
and now has seen the equation a few times…

and the z, z – fear of the z, but it doesn’t
it won't be like those other times.
you are conscious now –
you need to share how you feel and express it.

god you fear your own thoughts,
and the moment you say them they feel fake, unreal

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