By Sammy Ginsberg
Today, I had five events that got things clicking, and a very anxious morning.
Yesterday, I was offered an officer position or board member of a nonprofit. I am considering the offer, and doing some research. My experiences working for nonprofits has been incredibly disappointing.
If you are a board member, it is illegal for them to pay you, so clearly you have to be independently wealthy to be on the board of a nonprofit. Your job is to bring the money in for the President and advise on the programming. Essentially a reputation game. It is a structure that is co-dependent on a corporation.
I don’t like the structure of it. Also yes, where the nonprofit is currently at, it’s basically like a start up – except that there is no equity involved in launching the nonprofit. No protection. The founders of the nonprofit have full control as the sponsor and control the funding. I am meant to be able to financially survive without making money from the nonprofit while volunteering my time to the nonprofit until it is profitable, except that a nonprofit by design cannot be profitable.
I’ve gone to talks where they call nonprofits, “the white savior industrial complex” – and that’s totally what they are. They are a tool to keep a certain group of people in control of the money and resources. Even the money and resources that are meant to be going to people to help them because they don’t have enough money and resources to function in our society.
Why don’t they have enough money to function in our society? That is the responsibility of businesses because businesses are what create jobs that are paid based on their value to society, thus determining how much money one gets to live in society, and in a capitalist society – how much power one has.
Who decides value to society? The consumer. What is the consumer willing to pay for your product or services? How badly do they need it? How badly do they want it?
A successful business is determined by how much money it makes because we have equated money with value. However, many businesses create products and services that are harmful to the consumer in the long-term. Thus, while each quarter or annual report looks good, in a 50 year time span, who knows? And more than that – if we were to quantifiable data that could create an objective measurement of quality of life of the consumer, I bet that the consumer would have a low quality of life.
The amount of resources and money going into eCommerce while the amount of start ups addressing the loneliness crisis, addiction, and homelessness demonstrate this to be true.
The opposite of a nonprofit is mutual aid. It’s paying people what they need to have a high quality of life, and not trying to control access to the resources to have a high quality of life – especially as many businesses profit off of charging people to access what one needs to have a high quality of life.
Which goes back to business. Some structures of business are hierarchical. Some structures are more egalitarian. I’ve been looking at employee owned structures. I love the idea in real estate, too, rather than renting- what about rent to own? What about cooperative purchasing?
So many people are wanting to contribute for no money. But how do we value their time? How do we value the contribution? How do we have a system for their input? I love the idea of the B corp and the S corp.
This morning, I attended the Small Business Association Orientation and learned what they can offer me. So many free resources!
The facilitator said, “The goal is to help you make enough money to be happy. How much money do you need to be happy?
Then I went to coffee with a new friend Katja who launched a few businesses, and after I shared what I’m working through said, “You really have to think about what your goal is? When are you successful? When is it enough? Is it about money or about something else?”
Then I went to therapy and talked about how I feel that I thought teaching was the problem, but now that I’m not teaching I just have other problems. Freelance and remote have their own challenges that are equally shitty. And the thing I find the hardest is the lack of financial security and this need to use relationships to achieve financial stability.
Without depending on relationships to help me make money, it feels like play. But because there are financial realities, I have to prioritize the relationships that allow me to feed myself and pay my rent.
The lack of transparency around the value of certain services, as well as people allowing you to do work for free until you say no, as well as being paid hourly but not taking into account transport and time getting there, thus making $60 in four hours work to tutor twice a week. Which is essentially $15 an hour to be a reading tutor, except that the money is not guaranteed and the client can cancel at anytime and you won’t get paid that week. No health care included. Nothing!
A job that requires a four year degree and even more specializing.
I have known this world for so long. When I moved home at 25 to work as a direct support professional, I made $14.50 an hour while my software engineer brother/friends made $300 an hour or more.
Even if you were to say, “Hey Society! Tell me what to do! I would like to contribute more value to society so that I can be paid more because I can not afford the quality of life I want/need to be happy,” no one is going to help you do it.
Instead you are competition.
I’ve never wanted to be rich. I just want to be happy enough. To have a high quality of life. This definition of a ‘high quality life’ is both objective and subjective. It’s not a one size fits all situation, and yet, as humans we all have basic needs that have to be met.
I am simply trying to meet those basic needs, and that feels excruciatingly challenging. To be honest, my jobs made it harder to get my basic needs met because the cultures of my workplaces and cities were so isolating and shaming.
This is why I want to set up my own business. Not because I want to be rich, but because I want to create a healthy work culture for me, and for everyone who chooses to work with me. Because I want a higher quality of life, one where my job doesn’t feel dehumanizing, where I don’t feel disposable, one that doesn’t zap my soul until I can’t stop having panic attacks and can’t leave my room.
That is my goal. My goal is to make enough money every month to afford the resources I need to have a high quality of life.
That is essentially the end goal of Stability Sammy. Stable. To be stable one has to be happy enough, because if you’re not happy enough – you’ll keep changing things. Leaving jobs! Moving houses. Ending relationships and starting new ones. This is what I have been doing because my needs were not being met and I saw no way to improve those situations (or they saw no way to influence and improve me) and so we left. We changed.
How do I define the high quality of life I am imagining? How much money does it cost? What resources do I need? If I work as a substitute teacher 3 days a week, I can afford my resources. That is what I had figured out.
And yet, I feel petrified to be a substitute teacher. To do the work to sub. My friend asked me to sub for her in October. I was giving myself September to work these things out. To rest and prioritize my health and my passion projects – Los Feliz Writers, CSUN Writing Project, Shut Up and Write.
I don’t want to substitute teacher because you are the bottom of the hierarchy – thrown to the dogs!
I did as a teacher have a vision about a substitute teacher. That you have a grade-level substitute teacher who also leads the grade-level team and curriculum – that way they can always pop in when needed, and know all the curriculum. And that the student teacher is also a substitute teacher – and that each grade-level has a student teacher – the teacher is trained for the grade-level, and that all new teachers only teach one grade level, or two and that you get paid more based on the curriculums you are responsible to teach, as well as by period and that you control that.
Well, can’t I do that? Can’t I message only ELA teachers to substitute teach for them? I didn’t get called anyway. I haven’t put it on yet. I can also reach out to the schools in the area and go and visit/ volunteer.
Then these can be passion projects again! And in 90 days, I’ll have paid healthcare again. This can help me in my goal of going back to teach high school and making that a sustainable job for me.
I do think that if I figure out the co-direct… dude, I just applied for a job at the NCTE! They were still hiring for these two roles that seem like a great fit.
I want to do passion projects, but also I want my team. My committed people. Actually, I think that I am dating for those people. I have to find people who also want to do what I want to do. I’m not gonna force my old friends to do what I want, or to put more effort in. I can clarify expectations what it means to be dormant versus active, just like I was doing earlier!
Create relationships and community around what I love and brings me joy! Perhaps I need to join the Buddhist temple and go every Sunday or the Jewish community. My neighbor goes and she’s great! I am creating it! Cool people want to create it in Los Feliz with me.
Okay. We need to clarify on the quality of life! I think did all that work this summer. I want to update the main page and chunk up the work!
And better communicate with people! Jenn said there is money for me to work in the Spring too!! YAY! So I am going to focus on CSUN. I am thinking to apply for the LMFT or the EdD! or both one at a time.
Looked at jobs at CSUN. That’s a nice idea too! If I just had a job that paid the bills and healthcare, and allowed me to do this other work that’s after work, I’d be fine!
I wouldn’t be so anxious. Okay! The sub job. I think we gotta try to make that work.
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